I am an extrovert. It’s very natural for me to talk to anyone. Over the years, I’ve shared intimate details of my life with strangers if I see that my experiences can help or encourage them. However, it requires much more for me to form close friendships. I tend to want to guard my heart. I want to keep people at a distance, never letting them in until they have proven after much consistency that they care about my heart or I learn them well enough to know their heart. Yet my expectations were unrealistic.
In times past, I’ve longed for real friendship but with the false expectation that a friend should not let you down or be imperfect. Being hurt or let down by others does not feel good, and it seems easier to prevent that pain altogether, but moments of disappointment are inevitable in every relationship. We are imperfect beings.

Jeremiah chapter nine clearly describes the harm an ungodly friend can do to another. “They make ready their tongue like a bow, to shoot lies; it is not by truth that they triumph in the land. They go from one sin to another; they do not acknowledge me,” declares the Lord. “Beware of your friends; do not trust anyone in your clan. For every one of them is a deceiver, and every friend a slanderer. Friend deceives friend, and no one speaks the truth. They have taught their tongues to lie; they weary themselves with sinning. You live in the midst of deception; in their deceit they refuse to acknowledge me,” declares the Lord. Therefore this is what the Lord Almighty says: “See, I will refine and test them, for what else can I do because of the sin of my people? Their tongue is a deadly arrow; it speaks deceitfully. With their mouths they all speak cordially to their neighbors, but in their hearts, they set traps for them.” Jeremiah 9:3-8 “Therefore, God-of-the-Angel-Armies says: “Watch this! I’ll melt them down and see what they’re made of. What else can I do with a people this wicked? Their tongues are poison arrows! Deadly lies stream from their mouths. Neighbor greets neighbor with a smile, ‘Good morning! How’re things?’ while scheming to do away with him. Do you think I’m going to stand around and do nothing?” God’s Decree. “Don’t you think I’ll take serious measures against a people like this?” Jeremiah 9:7-9 MSG

Can you imagine having a friend like that or being that friend? I’ve had that friend, and I have also been that friend. I thank God for verse 9. Going through punishment from God refines our character. He continues to teach me how to be a friend and what to expect from my friends. Having these boundaries allows me to love freely in imperfect but perfect relationships with others, receiving blessings from doing so. I can be myself, free of judgment, and I am seen while at the same time allowing the same for others.

We throw the word friend around like confetti. “Hey, friend.” But today, consider what it means to be a friend. Are you a Godly or ungodly friend?