Have you ever felt so alone that even when you are surrounded by people, family, friends, coworkers, you feel as though you are standing in a room of strangers who don’t even speak the same language as you?  I find myself there sometimes though my outward appearance makes it easy to hide. I’m even good at lying to those who love me, telling them I’m perfectly fine when deep down inside, nothing could be further from the truth.  When I’m alone, and in my feelings and in my head, it can get pretty dark.  Feelings that no one cares, no one sees me, asking myself why I’m even here.  Then from somewhere in that darkness, I hear a voice saying to me, I am here.  I can see His face in my mind. He is looking at me with a face full of love and concern.  Again, He says, I am here, look at Me, I am ALWAYS here.  He tells me not to let the devil whisper in my ear any longer because he tells lies.  He lies when he makes me believe that no one loves or cares for me, he lies when he makes me doubt myself, he lies when he tells me that the world would be better without me.  Jesus brings forth the light in my darkest, darkest days.  He is always there even if it feels like He is so far away, and I can barely hear him over the sound of the devil’s words tearing me down.  His voice grows, He gets closer, He drives away the devil, and I live to see another beautiful day.  Without Him, there is no me, and I can not fight the devil alone; I need His light to drive out the dark!  

After an incredibly long and challenging week, I find myself worn down. Physically, mentally exhausted.  I’m in my head, feeling sorry for myself because I’m having feelings of anxiousness, doubt, self-pity for myself. Then I hear Jesus speak to me, telling me He is with me. He tells me that it is the devil who puts these thoughts into my head to push me into the darkness. I start to think about Jesus’s forty days in the desert and how the devil tempted Him so many times.  But Jesus refused to accept any of the temptations that the devil threw at Him.  I am not strong like Jesus.  But He reassures me that as long as He is with me, I will be safe from the darkness and the evil that lurks within it.  It amazes me how these thoughts just pop into my head, but I know that is His way of speaking to me.  He drives out the darkness; He drives away the devil.  There are better days ahead.  

By: Carmen Cook