How do you react to people when they hurt your feelings? How do you handle a person that betrayed you after you have done nothing but good, too, and for them? What do you do when those you love not only leave you to die but also led you to your murderer? I thought of these questions as I read the accounts of Jesus’ crucifixion in John 19.

For a while, along my journey, I understood the cross; however, it was head knowledge. And not heart knowledge. I understood that Jesus died on the cross, rose from the dead, and gave me freedom from sin. Yet, I struggled with understanding the depth of these truths. I prayed to God for not only wisdom but a heart that felt his pain and a heart that appreciates his sacrifice. He answered my prayer, like only Her can.

As he was hanging from the cross, He saw His mother’s hurt and met her needs. As he dangled from the cross, he still reasoned and carried out the task required to fulfill scripture so that those who betrayed him would. Still have eternal life. He also gave up—his spirit for these same people.

Today, as I read John 19, I am so grateful that we have a God who has experienced physical pain and internal pains that others will never know the depth of. God is not only in control, but He also knows and cares. He knows our hurts. He knows our betrayals and the effects of being betrayed. He knows our needs. He Knows! Submit your pain and needs to Him and allow him to be in control of your healing and provision.