Ok, so I am a departmentalized middled school History teacher. Last year was my first year in the classroom! If I am being completely honest, I didn’t care for teaching at all. I love the kids. Gosh, I love the kids. I loved being in their environment. I loved spending time with them and the staff, learning new things together. But I did not love to teach History. The main reasons I did not enjoy teaching was personal insecurity. I felt very unqualified. I did not like the feeling of not being good at something. Everything I was teaching my students I was learning for the first time. I can’t even say I was learning. I was preparing information to present to them but I could not fully teach that material because I didn’t have a good understanding of it. There was so much I felt I was cheating those kids of due to my lack of understanding, not just of History but also of how to teach.

There are many great teachers at my school, that I often compared myself too, which lift me feeling even more dissatisfied. However, I knew God had a purpose for placing me in the school I am in. I knew that in my weakness He is glorified. Many of times throughout the year He has shown me how on my worse day He is at His best. Yet, in the moment of day to day action it is like good knowledge and common sense of God went out of the window. But one thought remained, Galatians 6:4-5 Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. 5 For we are each responsible for our own conduct.

I had a preconceived idea in mind of what my work was. I was paying attention to that idea more than what God had for me to do. I did not fully understand the significance of being a teacher. I knew teaching was of importance but I just didn’t get it! I was so busy thinking of the next to come that I wanted to auto pilot through teaching facts and concepts. My dissatisfaction also came from knowing I could do better but hadn’t. I knew that I could be a good teacher like the teachers I admired but I could not be them or do things the same way they do. I cannot measure my success or failure by their measuring stick, it will never work. I also had to take responsibility. God has given me great influence with being a teacher. With that privilege also came great responsibility, that I need to take hold of, including with the information I share with my students along with sharing the love of Christ.

I have done more History reading this summer than I ever have. I am actually looking forward to sharing what I have learned!

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