Being completely honest, I am stubborn and rebellious by default. If I am not intentional on guarding against these things I can be very selfish. No one knows this better than my husband. Trust me when I say he reminds me of it often. I never listened to my husband. When I did it was only after I received confirmation from someone else. I had a habit, still struggle with this, of making up my mind, telling him what I was going to do, and expecting him too go along with it. This way handling our marriage only led to unnecessary issues and intense fellowship (arguing). But I know.

I grew up in a home where my mothers husband was very dominate, while my mother was too passive. In my opinion, he was not a good husband and she allowed him to control every aspect of her life. Yet, now that I am older and have a family of my own, I have realized I do not know everything about the intimacy of conversation that may have happened behind the scenes. However, in my youth and through adulthood years I said I would never be like my mom. I would never allow a man to dictate to me the choices I made. I would never put a man before my children. This is my life I will do with it what I want!

My experience in my mothers home is only one source of the negative ideals I had on marriage. There are plenty of others but for the sake of time I think that you all get the picture. I had, and still have, a whopped view of submission, including in my relationship with Christ. Again, by default I can make decisions with out consulting my husband or God. I have to be intentional in doing a better job of having a conversation and not just doing.

So as you can imagine, the more I grow in Christ and get an understanding of marriage, submission, and order, I am often convicted. That is definitely the case when I read 1 Peter 3: 1-6 that says:

1 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives. 3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.

After reading this, I wrote in the margin of my bible “Submit to God through submission to Stephen.” For me that passage was saying a few different things:

1. I realize that God has appointed my husband as head of the relationship. With the expectation that he is to be a loving and respectful head.
2. I am to evangelize my husband through submissive and appropriate behavior.
3. My value is not in outer appearances, not these things are wrong, they just don’t add or subtract value from me.
4. How I address my husband is an indication of my overall attitude towards him.

Questions:

In your relationship with your spouse or God, is submission difficult?

Where do you think this resistance stems from? How do you respond in your relationships?

What can you do differently to show your obedience to Christ through your relationships?

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